The City of OKC Kayak
Kayak guide seeks new career:
(a.k.a. Would you like fries with that kayak?)
Who’d thunk that they would have remembered? I have been working since the age of eight, often holding down three jobs simultaneously, and in all this time, I can only recall about two jobs that I have just flat out quit without giving a two weeks notice.
Back on September, 13th of 1992, I found myself locked inside the McDonalds restaurant on MacArthur Avenue and Northwest Expressway. There were supposed to be five other people working that evening, yet my lazy manager had just informed me that I was the only one stupid enough to show up for this job paying $3.35 an hour. My task was to clean the entire restaurant by myself. The hour was already 2 a.m., I had school and my other job, an early morning donut shop career to be at in a few hours. The place was still long from being clean. I sat wondering how the heck I could get out of this. The doors were deadbolted on both sides with access available only with the manager’s key. This key sat in the locked office where the manager had gone to sleep off her tryptophan, Diet Coke, and Big Mac induced coma.
Meanwhile, I was measuring up the drive through window, to see if somehow, I might be able to squeeze my way through. Gleefully, out the window, I imagined the look on my boss’s face when she awoke at 4 a.m. I made a run for my oxidized ’82 Buick LeSabre. ….. and I only went back for my paycheck. Who would have thought that this would have nixed my recent attempts to get rehired by the Golden Arches?
Next on my job hunting to do list was Little Caesar’s Pizza. I might not have an I-pod to jam out to, but I do own a pair of fuzzy earmuffs that kind of look like stereo walkman headphones. Plus, I kind of think I have got some nice hip-hop moves to display on the corner intersection. Surely they would show me a little employment love. They balked when I let it slip that I had earned a high school diploma. “It is Piedmont High School, that does not really count as graduating,” I pleaded in desperation for a paying job.
By this time, I was starting to get hungry, and still had no lake to conduct our activities on, so I spread a blue tarp out in the parking lot of the kayak shop, painted a few lily pads on it, and tried tricking folks into thinking they were on the water. Sadly, our nearly 103 years old kayaker (Really!), Peanut Jones was the only one to fall for this, and the guilt from preying upon this old gal with cataracts on her eyeballs was too much for me to bear.
Desperate, I reentered negotiations with the City to try and resolve the new rules for doing business at Lake Hefner. We had meeting after meeting and finally came up with a compromise. I am renaming the business “ The City of OKC Kayak”, and signed an agreement stating that I will not put sugar in their gas tanks. Seriously, while nothing is a done deal just yet, we do have a gentlemen’s agreement that allows us to be back out at the lake until everything is finalized.
(Many, many heartfelt thanks for all of you who have assisted in this process. I have yet to get a chance to thank each of you personally, but your friendship is the ultimate reason I love kayaking so much.) I humbly need one more favor now that this is officially on the Oklahoma City Water Utilities Trust agenda, August 18th at 2 p.m.). A large show of support at this meeting will be favorable to our long-term presence at the lake.
So for now, it looks like I am resigned to my old career of trying to make a living as a kayak guide. I do have a backup plan though. I hear that there is still a Ryan’s Steakhouse in town. Surely they won’t remember me permanently walking out the door when their bad-breathed manager asked me if I was going to pay for the complimentary mint I was trying to leave with!
That said, fellowship on the lake continues. Come join us for a Tuesday or Thursday social paddle or early morning workout paddle. We are now relegated to the eastern shore of Hobie Point. Basically you enter at the same spot and veer right at the fork in the road rather than left. If you are bringing your own boat, you are welcome to launch from wherever you please. Thank you in advance for your continued respect towards all the user groups at the lake. This is the true spirit of kayakers.
“Let the kayak be the vessel that brings you closer to nature, provides for fellowship and friends, helps you reconnect with family, and causes you to pause and reflect on the great value your life can add to others .”
Most Humbly,
Dave Lindo and all of OKC Kayak