Meet Flat Casey
Another continuation of my Grand Canyon adventure story follows below. Read the whole story from the beginning by going back about a half dozen blogs or so. Thanks for reading!
In today’s blog we take a trip back to the day before this whole adventure trip began. Unbeknownst to many of you, days before the trip was to begin I proposed to my best friend, Casey. After much indecision on her part and a scouring of my doctored balance sheets, she happily agreed.
One of Casey’s first orders of business was to swear me off fast food and the fast women as well. Actually this is one of her jokes. (She not only shares the same sick and twisted sense of humor, but is an intelligent naturalist.) For those of you who are wondering, yes, this is the same hard working Casey from the kayak shop. After her status change, we both agreed that it would be better for me to fire her. She now volunteers at the shop in exchange for heavy petting. Casey claims that if the petting does not get any better, she is going to have to request her salary back.
Par for the course, Casey delivered to me yet another one of her creative greeting card creations just prior to my trip. The envelope seemed a little thicker than normal, so I tore it open, gave the card a good shake, and watched for what I had hoped would be some cash to fall out. Sadly, it wasn’t, and just as I was about to toss the card in the trash without reading it, I took a closer look. Although there clearly was not any money inside her card, there was in fact about $4.50 worth or scotch tape she had used as an impromptu laminate for a picture of herself. This was Casey’s idea of waterproofing. Written on the back were the words, “FLAT CASEY, 2009 ADVENTURE BUDDY SERIES.” Apparently this is the first in a series of her very own adventure buddy trading cards and my virtual substitute in her absence since her work schedule would not allow for her to join us. After admonishing her for including a picture of herself wearing a stocking cap and wool overcoat rather than a skimpy little bikini, I proceeded to read the card. The card included lots of mushy things about how strong, handsome, smart, and humble of a man I am, then included a disclaimer, or sort of warning if you may. “FLAT CASEY WATERPROOFING IS NOT UNDER WARRANTY AND SHOULD NOT BE A PERMANENT SUBSTITUTE FOR ROUND CASEY!”
I tucked Flat Casey and the card into my waterproof ammo can for safekeeping. Part of the reason for this was so that Kevin would not find it. I did not want to catch him alone in the tent with this, testing out the waterproofing. I would only pull Flat Casey out when I started to miss the round version, which ended up being about every half hour or so. Actually there was another occasion or two when she reared her head on the trip. This little 2D figurine made appearances made appearances in the group photo, a shot of camp, in a cave on the cliff wall, and half submerged at the base of a waterfall. Casey swears that this waterfall photo of Flat Casey surrounded by bubbles and froth was really taken in the Flagstaff airport restroom urinal, but I can assure you that it was not. Kevin did manage to stage a photo of Flat Casey atop the insides of the Groover though. One way or another, Casey was about as close to being actually on the trip as one could be, if not in person, in spirit instead.
