OKC Kayak Word Soup

I had just wrapped up my on camera interview with the producer when my older (and most helpful) brother informed me that I had some broccoli in my teeth. Next, I was thinking he was going to tell me that my zipper was down or something, despite the fact that my swimsuit does not have any zippers. That is my family for you! We are a bunch of sarcastic antagonists with a somewhat dry sense of humor. Luckily, I was able to explain away my brother’s lack of tact by informing the producer that he was adopted. We got him from the rescue shelter back when they had the free spay/neuter special. (Good thing it was free, because Paul is working on kid number three.)

Speaking of families, the gal from Discover Oklahoma brought her own crew along. Her husband Kurt was the cameraman and her two daughters Prairie Kay and Cricket came out as well. She also brought out her friend John, who happened to lack the ability to use any of his body from the waist down.

I too would have a guest of my own tonight, Miss Peanut Jones. Peanut, as you faithful readers may remember, is our nearly 102 year old kayaker from Mustang Oklahoma (See blog entitled: Kayak Guide Sprinkles Ants on Cotton Candy Booth). Needless to say, Peanut was as excited as we were to be out in front of the camera. I must say, she got a little ahead of herself with the whole fame thing, as she showed up with new spinners on the wheels of her ‘82 Dodge Toronado, Grillz for her teeth, and a propeller atop her ballcap. You go Peanut!

Peanut was the first one to be interviewed since we only were able to get the judge to grant us a brief window of time as an exception to her house arrest. (Not really!) Let me be the first to say that some of Peanut’s responses to the interviewer’s questions quite surprised me. For example, when asked about why she wanted to be out for this events she said, “My doctor says that I need to gain some weight, and I had always heard that the camera adds twenty pounds.” What!!!! Then Peanut fessed up to the fact that she never had actually kayaked before, short of sitting in one in an asphalt parking lot. Thanks a lot Peanut, and I thought we had fooled her due to her cataracts on her eyes. “Well Peanut, you are going to get in a kayak today, aren’t you?” the producer queried. “Oh, no,” her immediate reply. It would take a promise of three cans of Ensure Plus, a bottle of number nine purple hair dye, two bowls of green bean and jello salad, and a new shuffleboard table to bribe this old gal to get in a boat with me. Even my brother Paul has an easier time getting a woman to go out on a date with him. She finally reluctantly agreed, so I responded in kind by returning her SAS shoes and walker that I had hidden from her.

We put Peanut in a tandem boat with me. Peanut would paddle in front, the driver’s seat. We kayaked all around, Peanut’s Grillz blinding the cameraman every time she smiled. I offered up a compliment to Peanut for the great job she was doing. She then accused me of doing all the work. Well, I can fix that. Yes Ma’am. Unbenounced to her, I honestly quit paddling all together. She was none-the-wiser because she was facing forward with her back to me. I held my finger to my lips, indicating to the laughing bystanders that they were not to tell. SHHHHHH!!!!!! Finally she asked if I was helping, to which I indicated that I was, while still laying on my back with the paddle behind my head. Peanut and I made it back to shore alive, but boy was she pooped. We sent her on her way after having her sign an addendum to the waiver promising that she would not turn us in to the nearest ombudsman.

John would be the next person to be subject to my antics. We outfitted his boat with some additional padding, and foam supports and pushed him off. His anxious wife asked how long we would be out on the water. “Thirty minutes,” I replied. As it turned out, John was on the water for nearly three hours. As he explained in his interview afterward, for the first time in a long time, he felt just like everyone else with his newfound mobility, absent the wheelchair or any other obvious signs of his disability. What an amazing experience it was to see this man’s happiness and excitement over the opportunities the kayak provided him.

The producer’s youngest daughter (5 years old) was our next solo boater of the evening. Unbelievably, she paddled around and steered the boat like she had done this her entire life. Mom and dad enjoyed the boat equally well.

Now, lest you think that I am going to give away the whole story. Watch for yourself on Saturday, July 12th on CBS in Oklahoma City or your local Discover Oklahoma station statewide.

Many thanks to Discover Oklahoma, producer Shel Wagner, cameraman Kurt Wagner, kiddos, Prairie Kay and Cricket, John and Charla Enns (sp?), Peanut Jones and her handlers, the Enteshary Family, as well as the entire OKC Kayak Family that came out to participate. Meanwhile, I am off to find out where Peanut bought her hat with the propeller on it.